ILTDAMH |CHAPTER 49

Chapter 49 

You Must Take Responsibility for Me

At Marican’s question, Ruan’s expression suddenly turned cold. 

He clenched his fist tightly and muttered,

“Today, when I walked into the shop, I realized something. If even one of the men inside managed to catch your eye, could I truly separate him from you? Could I really tear him away?”

Catch my eye? 

What on earth is he talking about—when have I ever shown interest in anyone?

“Ruan! What are you saying?” Marican demanded, her voice sharp.

But Ruan only continued muttering to himself.

“No matter how I thought about it, I had no solution. Those men haven’t betrayed your trust the way I have. That’s why… though it’s petty, childish, and pathetic, I have no choice. I must use my final method.”

“Final method?”

“I told you earlier, didn’t I? That the reason my curse was lifted was all thanks to you.”

“You did say that.”

Meeting Marican’s puzzled gaze, Ruan took her hand firmly.

“The truth is, before I met you, I had no real attachment to life. I thought it wouldn’t be so bad to at least take out some trash before I died—that’s why I helped eliminate the crown prince.”

“And so?”

“So now, you must take responsibility for me.”

Marican’s face froze in disbelief.

What on earth is he saying?

Why on earth should I be responsible for him?

“What? Why should I be responsible for you, Ruan?”

“You saved a life that should have already ended. That means this life belongs to you. So whether you make me your slave and work me to the bone, lock me in a cell and beat me until your anger fades—I don’t care. But don’t abandon me, the man you saved.”

Marican stared at him, utterly dumbfounded.

First he uses me like a sleeping draught, then tricks me into believing he was addicted, and now he says I saved him so I must take responsibility?

Is this supposed to be some kind of threat?

She was so taken aback, so exasperated, she couldn’t even summon anger.

And yet… What is this?

Is he actually sweating?

Marican studied Ruan closely. 

He looked as though he were being chased, spilling out his words in a rush, anxious, desperate.

But when he had been at the duke’s estate, Ruan had always looked like a man standing at the edge of death’s door—fragile, yet unfaltering. 

He never showed agitation, never panicked, always steady, always gazing at her with warm eyes.

Even the debauched crown prince had feared him.

Now, here stood the perfect man—untouched by death, holding wealth, honor, and beauty in equal measure. 

Yet he looked at her, a commoner now, not even a noblewoman, with desperate eyes and an anxious expression, speaking of a final method just to gain her forgiveness.

Why is he so desperate to cling to me?

Is it truly because he loves me?

She had once trusted Ruan second only to her father. 

That he had hidden so many lies from her burned like betrayal. 

And yet… she could understand him, a little. To never disappoint those who depended on him, he must have cast aside emotions and lived fiercely, relentlessly.

No, she could never forgive his deceit. 

But hadn’t she gained much from this marriage as well?

She had finally shed her futile longing for her mother and sister. 

Thanks to Ruan, she was free of them completely.

And she had found people who loved her as she was, who cherished her like family.

Besides… She had never married Ruan out of deep love. 

It had been a contract from the very beginning.

If not for this marriage, she would still be at her family’s estate, enduring her mother and sister’s constant scorn, believing herself useless.

And throughout her time at the duke’s estate, Ruan had acknowledged her as his wife, respected her, cherished her as she was. 

Perhaps—just as Clea and Charles had said—giving him a chance wouldn’t be so bad.

A chance…

If that’s what he wants so badly, perhaps she should give him one.

Yes… she could repay him in kind for what he put her through, vent her frustrations, and if she chose to leave halfway, then so be it. 

But if he stayed, truly stayed at her side…

Well, she’d decide what to do then.

Marican looked quietly at the man clutching her hand.

She had thought she’d forgotten him after settling in Phenomenon village. 

But ever since he reappeared before her eyes, her heart had been a constant storm of confusion.

Were these feelings only resentment for his lies? 

Or… something else?

And after hearing Charles and Clea’s accounts of Ruan’s state after she left the duke’s estate, she had even caught herself wondering if she had left too hastily, if she had abandoned him too soon.

Yes. 

It was time to face her true feelings for Ruan.

Marican straightened and met his gaze.

“Before I give my answer, I have some questions.”

“Anything. Ask me anything.”

“First—there are no more lies, are there? Nothing else you’ve hidden from me?”

“Of course not. I’ve told you everything, truthfully. There is not a single thing I’m concealing anymore. I can even swear at my aunt in the capital.”

His aunt? 

Well, if he dares to invoke her, perhaps it truly is the truth.

“Fine. I’ll believe you. Next—why do you want to remain by my side? Is it because I’m your natural sleeping draught? Because food lost its taste without me? Or is there another reason I don’t know?”

“No—please, don’t misunderstand. After I took the healer’s medicine here, the sleeping draught began working again. And while meals aren’t as delicious as when you were there, I still eat well enough. That’s not it. The reason I want to stay by your side is because I love you. Because I see you as my final companion, because I wish to earn your forgiveness, to marry you properly again, and spend the rest of my life with you. Nothing else.”

Love? And a wish to spend the rest of his life with me?

The man who once claimed he had no emotions at all?

Does he even know what love is?

“Ruan. What do you think love is?”

“Love is… wanting to see someone constantly, smiling whenever they appear, feeling as though nothing is impossible if you’re together. And the desire not to share them with anyone else.”

Ha. 

Half love, half obsession.

“So… when you say you don’t want to share me, does that mean you’d hide me away somewhere?”

“N-no! That’s not what I meant, I just—”

Ruan fell silent, guilty.

“Listen, Ruan. What you described is half right, half wrong. Yes, it’s true that being with the one you love brings joy and happiness. But refusing to let anyone else see them, keeping them only by your side—that’s obsession.”

“…I see. As expected, outside of war, I’m lacking. Please… guide me.”

“So, what you’re really asking is to earn my forgiveness, and to learn what love is with me?”

“No. That’s wrong. I already love you.”

That’s not love, you idiot!

Marican pressed her fingers to her temple, her head aching.

“Fine, Ruan. We’ll revisit this ‘love’ of yours later. For now—if you want a chance at forgiveness, then work in my shop for a month. I’ll watch you, and decide whether or not to give you that chance. How about it?”

“Yes. That’s fine, my lady.”

“From this moment on, we’re employer and employee. Treat me accordingly.”

“Thank you. I won’t disappoint you.”

“First—stop calling me ‘my lady.’ I’m no longer your wife. Here, I go by Rosaline. Call me that. Or… ‘Boss.’”

“Rosalin it is. Very well, Rosalin.”

“Second—no one in this village knows about our past. Just don’t mention that we were married.”

“…Understood.”

“And lastly, don’t frighten the customers out of the shop the way you did today. Always greet them with a smile.”

“Like this?”

The strange grin on Ruan’s face made Marican burst into laughter.

“No, no. Just smile the way you always do when you look at me.”

Smile at those men leering at Rosalin?

When the feeling I get seeing them and seeing her is worlds apart?

But under her steady gaze, he relented.

“…Of course, Rosalin. I’ll practice in front of the mirror.”

“Good. Then take this key. Be here by eight tomorrow.”

“Yes. Thank you… Rosalin.”

“Oh, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Send all the duke’s people back to the capital.”

“What? Why?”

“You want my forgiveness, yet you still plan to have servants do your laundry and chefs prepare your meals?”

“…No. You’re right. I’ll send them back.”

“Good. That’s my final condition.”

“…Then so be it. I’ll dismiss them all.”

“Perfect. Tomorrow, eight o’clock sharp.”

Two days later, just as promised, Jean, Clea, Edward, and even Charles—who had insisted on staying—returned to the duke’s estate.

Ruan officially became an employee at Marican’s shop.

She introduced him to the villagers as a distant relative, working part-time to learn how to make sandwiches.

At first, they eyed him with suspicion. But in her words, they welcomed him warmly.

Two weeks passed quickly.

“My goodness… he’s incredible,” Zelda murmured one morning, watching Ruan greet customers with a soft smile. She remembered those first awkward days, when his smile had been strained and unnatural. Now, it seemed effortless.

“Well… he is good at everything,” someone else replied.

“Seriously. I never realized this shop could look so clean.”

Though he had been told to arrive by eight each morning, Ruan often came before six. 

Using his height, he scrubbed every corner, even the ceiling long untouched by a cloth. 

Within days, the shop gleamed like new.

“Honestly… he’s even good at cleaning. And here I thought living alone would’ve made him useless.”